Elven Vanity, and other FOTR Limericks
by Avalon Estel
Summary: A series of limericks about the Fellowship. Believe me, it's funnier than it sounds. Thank-you's for all my reviewers, your opinions are very dear. [COMPLETE]
1. Elven Vanity

Elven Vanity, and other FOTR Limericks

A/N: These are probably stupid, but they're fun to write. I am a younger person, and therfore do not appreciate profanity in my reviews. It's not that I don't believe in freedom of speech, I am just not of an age to be forced to read that sort of language. Thank you. 

Elven Vanity

"You're gorgeous!" they constantly say.

The fangirls mob me all day.

They hold posters and shout

As I flip my hair 'bout.

Good grief, this could go on all day!


	2. Hygiene

Elven Vanity, and other FOTR Limericks

Hygiene

To take a bath would be a disgrace,

And it is my duty to stink up the place.

Besides, I am King,

And can do anything,

So Arwen, quit making that face.


	3. Connoisseur

Elven Vanity, and other FOTR Limericks

Disclaimer: I forgot to say before, I don't own LOTR.

Connoisseur

My real name is Peregrin Took,

It's what I am called in the book.

Though I'm awfully dumb,

I'll be your best chum

As long as you know how to cook.


	4. Dignity

Elven Vanity, and other FOTR Limericks

A/N: Oh, you guys are great! I put up this thing yesterday, and I already have eight reviews! This weekend I'll review for all of you with accounts!

Thanks to: Dragix, Quii T, Miss Piratess (Three times!), Yugure, Hanna M, and BM!

I really appreciate it! I feel so loved!

Dignity

"No one tosses a Dwarf!" I cried,

Though I knew if he didn't I'd surely have died,

Then hauled up by my beard

It was worse than I'd feared,

Thank you, Elf, now my dignity's fried.


	5. A Sad Truth

A Sad Truth

A/N: Thanks to swee-haret179, Hanna M, Miss Piratess, merrymagic26, and my little sis Arwen! I appreciate it, guys!

Gandalf the Gray is my name.  
I enjoy causing hobbits great pain.  
On adventures I'll go,  
as I drag them in tow.  
How else could I gain so much fame?


	6. Samwise the Ingrate

Elven Vanity, and Other FOTR Limericks  
  
A/N: Well, another week, another crazy limerick. I really, really want to thank you all for making this my most reviewed item. I can't believe it: twenty reviews! I'm sorry that it's taking so long for me to update, but what with my other stories, my two books, my studies,  
family obligations, and other things, I've been really busy. Thanks for being so patient.  
Thank-yous go out to:  
Alania, Miss Piratess, Malara, ld80061, Reasonably Crazy, black eagle, and merrymagic26.  
  
I appreciate your comments and value them all!  
  
Samwise the Ingrate  
  
Inside was the present Galadriel'd picked,  
but when I opened the box, I was really quite miffed,  
for lo and behold!  
Instead of treasures and gold,  
a pile of dirt was my gift.


	7. Boromir's Regrets

Elven Vanity and Other FOTR Limericks

A/N: And another one! I don't think this is as funny as the others, but it's all I could come up with. As always, read and review, please. And no cursing!

Boromir's Regrets

My father went crazy, a madman, insane,

A power-hungry, land-grabbing nut, he became.

If I was alive,

He wouldn't have died.

Why must he play with those flames?


	8. Meriadoc and Apples

Elven Vanity, and Other FOTR Limericks

I'm ashamed of myself! I didn't thank anyone last time! I feel horrible!   
Thank you's for Malara, Miss Piratess, swee-haret179, Hanna M, nenloth greenleaf, Reasonably Crazy (luv your LOTR diaries!), Ealisaid of the Stars, BanbieBunny(BEAVERS!), Earwen of Alqualonde, merrymagic26, and Rhys (I hate Fido, too...)!   
Here's another wacky limerick for your enjoyment!

Meriadoc and Apples

Whether shot like a missile at Pippin Took's head,

or simply a snack in a bowl by your bed,

I'll be munching away

'til the end of my days

or my name is mostcertainly Ed!


	9. Rants

Elven Vanity, and Other FOTR Limericks

A/N: And here's the end. Many, many thanks to Here comes the hockey puck (thank you for signing my guestbook at Alohomora! Too bad about the peeps, though…), Katatonia (yes, that's how I'm ending it!), Libby (your mom likes this? Cool!), Paige Woodland (glad you like!), NybCR (thanks for the compliments!), LilStripedTomato (thanks for the review! Interesting name, BTW…), Reasonably Crazy (Oh, I hope you update soon!), and Miss Piratess, as always (thanks for being such a faithful reviewer. I'm honored!)!

Rants

Gandalf will die when I've finished this plot,

And Gollum certainly deserved what he got.

Frodo Baggins am I,

And I've been much to kind,

'cause I bet they all wanted me shot!

A/N: Frodo's bitter, eh? This is it for "Elven Vanity", but tell me in these last reviews if you want me to start a new series about the other characters in the series! I already have a couple ideas…


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